I can’t cum during sex with my boyfriend. Here’s why.

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I have the most romantic boyfriend but his soul is crashing at the thought that he can’t make me cum. I keep reassuring him that he’s great it’s the anti-depressants that are making me dry and not in the mood for sex. While the real reason is that I only get super wet and orgasm when I have forced sex/CNC together with humiliation and degradation. Here’s the thing I can’t find it in me to tell my bf this he comes off as a very straight thinking and pure man. My gut tells me this would throw him off and I’d lose him which I don’t want to. I’m struggling with my conscience and I don’t know what to do. This makes me miss my ex because I told him what I needed and good god he was fucking terrific at it. I used to have multiple orgasms. He loved overpowering me and pushing my limits. I’m honestly one text away from hitting him up and letting him do what he does best, taking me forcefully; getting so hard when I start crying and begging him to stop. Breeding me when I tell him not to cum inside me. Him spitting on me, choking me hard. Calling me a worthless cunt and spanking me hard. Then afterward cuddling, reassuring me and feeding me.

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